Sunday, January 9, 2011

Learning that I can't fix everything!

This week has been . . challenging!  I got into it pretty deep with one of my family members and though it doesn't usually last too long, I don't know when this is going to be fixed.  I made a comment on my Facebook that "I was embarrassed by decisions made by family" and I'm sure most of you have felt that way at some point in time too but I didn't go into specifics, just said that.  Let me start out by saying that I am NOT perfect and won't pretend to be, but this person continues to hurt over and over and over again.  I know it is wrong to hold grudges and to NOT forgive but when is it ok to state how you feel without being bashed against the wall?  This person knows that they have made some horrible decisions in life and some of them can never be fixed but the lies, pity and drama seems like it's never going to end and people VERY close to me continue to get hurt and I am sick of it!  It seems like I am always the one to say how I feel, to ask questions and to try to protect as best I can but right now, I feel like washing my hands of all this for awhile and focusing on my family, my health, my goals!!  I know it is easier said than done, especially when it comes to family but this time, I don't think I can fix this one!

I am not losing sleep and not stressed about the situation because I know deep in my heart that I didn't do anything to start these problems nor did I involve myself with any unnecessary drama, just stated the facts and some people didn't like them!

Life isn't always easy but I'm pressing on and letting God do his work!


Kimmy Green said...

Hey Kim,
After reading this, I must say that I respect your emotions and decisions. I too come from a very large family and we seem to have cycles of negativity and drama. I too have come to the conclusion that if I distance myself from the people who hold the core to the problems then I am away from it all together. Unfortunately as you mentioned, all families tend to go through this, and most people do not voice their opinions, so when you do, it has a negative reaction... just know that you are not alone, and in the end the people who are upset will come through and understand after the tension settles down. Keep handing it over to the Lord, as he will guide you and walk you through it all, good and bad. I hope it gets better soon for you. And if you need an extra friend to listen, or to just shoot the sh*t with, let me know!! :) Take care!!

Anonymous said...

Kimmy you are a great sister and one of the strongest people I know. I love you!

love your litle sissy :)

Traveling Pants~Shannon K said...

Here, Here.....I obviously dont know whats happened with you, but i can still relate, only i wish i said how i felt about issues, i regret never saying how i felt about serious issues, and 38 yrs old later, i do now,but its not p retty, and i end up blowing up in the end. I have always had to be the strong one, the one that pleads the 5th for families sake, and stephanie is the one who said, ENOUGH is ENOUGH! SHE does speak her mind!! and she has spoke mine to, making me do it for myself. No regrets, and its the other persons loss, not yours.

j said...

I'm sorry that you are going through this. I have a large family too...and I am very close with my sisters. Life happens and we are all imperfect. I'd ask the Lord to give you grace and love for this family member. He is in the business of changing our hearts toward people who can be hard to love/like or please. I don't know the situation nor do I need to know details. My only advice is to steer away from fb as a means to vent about personal things. It becomes to public and complicated and can do more damage than ever imagined. I'll be praying for healing and restoration with your family.

j said...

P.S. Speaking your heart and mind is not a bad thing to do. But sometimes speaking the truth in love (even if it is going to hurt someone close to us) is best if it is spoken one on one with that person...not with other witnesses or viewers to add to it.

j said...

You've been on my heart lately and I forgot to comment on the most important thing...PRAY, PRAY and PRAY!!! (not necessarily for yourself, but for this other family member.) Often times it is our BEST way to love that person! When worldly wisdom fails and we feel we have exhausted all avenues (or they have exhausted all avenues), where relationships are strained or complicated, where feelings are hurt, and opinions are known, where frustration, anger and love begin to intertwine and become blurry, PRAYER is the best remedy. It's amazing what intercessory prayer can do for others and for our own heart.

Love you and love your family! Be strong in the Lord today!