Saturday, July 10, 2010

Sometimes I want to scream!

A year ago, I was preparing myself to say goodbye to Christopher.  He was being deployed to Iraq for 7 months, he would miss the birth of our first child, and mentally, I had no idea what I was about to face.  The day I will never forget was hard on everyone and every time I think about it, my heart aches.  We both learned to pray a lot more and let God guide and protect our family.  We knew that a deployment would come sometime in our life and we reminded ourselves that at least Isabell will be so young that she wouldn't know the difference.  When he got home, it was like he didn't miss a beat with her but as for us, it has taken a REALLY long time to get "us" back on track.  Not only we were adjusting to our new life with our precious little miracle, but I was struggling with some massive depression and that didn't help ANYTHING!  I was in the mindset that I was still doing this on my own and that it was my way or the highway because that's just how I roll.  It just seemed easier to do it myself rather than show someone how we do it but I have learned to just let it be.  Mommy does things this way and Daddy does things this way, that's ok and that's how it is going to be.  It feels like things are getting better day by day with our transiting period of life then WHAM . . . he calls to tell me that he has some bad news.  My heart stops and I feel like I can't catch my breath as I wait to see what's next.  He is being sent away for training, not Iraq but Missouri and not 7 months but 8 weeks!  Really?  You are serious?  I wanted to just scream at him but he doesn't have a choice and do I really have any right to be mad when he is the one that is going to be away?  Not for one second!

I am asking you to keep us all in your prayers right now.  We do have some time as he isn't going to be leaving until after her birthday but we have to prepare not only each other but Isabell too!

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